Fleeting

Just when happiness came knocking, my world plunged into darkness once again.

The light dimmed, the ephemeral smile didn't reach my eye, disillusioned I felt.

The fleeting glimpse of Utopia, rudely snatched

In its place stood nothing but shambles

Despair and arid hope its only companion

Mournful cries wrenching the night sky

Night it seems, but day it is

Light never to touch it again

Tears dry up, red eyes stare incriminating

Resentment wells inside

Loathing and ire close

Eyes shut in patient pondering

Control flailing however

Finally, an anguished cry escapes

Purgatory in sight

Reach it I will

Conquer this I must

For now though, I seethe

In blatant misery!

Ugly

Change is good...they say

Change is healing...they say

Change is cathartic...they say

Change is...moving on...they say

I've heard this. I've lived through this change. The catharsis burnt away all that pent up hostility I had seething within. Time healed all those wounds left raw and bare for all to see.

The goodness is still coming on...its never ending (I say).

The moving on...well...thats still processing...

I'd changed then.

I've changed back.

I am myself again.

There's no looking back now.

**Yet in those dark moments of self-doubt and self-introspection, happiness seems tiny in comparison to the gaping hole in my heart. The anger which had all but escaped from me, crawls back in inch by inch, trying to bog me down.**

Ugly...